Source: Obie Fernandez - Unsplash
These past few days, I've found myself getting angry more easily and arguing with my sister a lot. The thing about me- and my sister- is that, I always like to have the last say in an argument. And I will do everything to get my point across and prove that what I'm saying is right. With my passion for always wanting to win an argument, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had ventured into law instead of engineering.
The outcome of our arguments are pretty much always the same: both of us speaking over each other to prove ourselves right, the rest of our family getting annoyed and trying to stop the argument and finally both my sister and I getting angry and not wanting to even speak to each other.
And even though the Holy Spirit tries to calm me down and get me to forgive and/or apologise, my mind and emotions want to keep that fire of anger within me burning.
We're all human, and there are various times that we end up angry at someone for one reason or the other. I mean, it's a trait even God possesses. We can't even count the amount of times the Israelites made Him angry. Or even us as His children. It's not a sin to get angry, it's what we do with that anger that could potentially be dangerous. God's Word says that, in our anger, we should not do wrong. We must also not let the sun go down on us while we are angry, which in simple term means: don't hold on to anger for too long (Ephesians 4:26). Because in doing so, we give the devil a chance to use that anger for evil.
There are many tragedies in history and even today that occurred because anger was not controlled or quelled. We all have personal experiences where, in a state of anger, we did or said something that we deeply regretted afterwards. Words said cannot be taken back, and whether we meant them or not, the damage that our anger-filled self wanted to cause succeeded in doing so.
What might even be the worst kind of anger, is that which we allow to stay inside of us. The kind that sits and festers in our heart. It causes us to carry, for a long period of time, a mean word said or a harmful act done to us. That kind of anger is dangerous. Carrying a grudge in your heart can negatively affect your life, whether you realise it or not. The changes can be visible or very subtle. It might be not going to certain places you used to love because you'll see someone you dislike. Or maybe staying away from certain people because of unforgiveness you have towards someone who hurt you. Grudges can affect our relationship with others and cause us to do certain things or behave a certain way that is totally unlike us.
Source: Samuel Regan-Asante - Unsplash
But our hearts weren't created for holding grudges. They were created for receiving and giving love. When we decide to hold on to hate, we let that take the place in our hearts where God is supposed to reside. We fill up our hearts with so much hate that it takes up the whole space, leaving no place for God and His love. It's like telling God that, you would rather have anger and unforgiveness reign in your life than Him.
And I know, forgiveness can be difficult. Even God knows how difficult it is. Just think about how Jesus was able to forgive Peter for denying Him three times. Most of us would have called Peter a fake friend and never spoken to him again. But Jesus didn't. It must have been really hard for Him to forgive that kind of betrayal, but He did anyway. And the funny thing is, nowhere in the Bible does it say that Jesus even reminded Peter of what happened after He rose from the dead. Instead, he comforted Peter and commissioned him to take care of his sheep- the people of God.
Holding a grudge feels so good at the time, like you're holding power over someone- the power of deciding if that person deserves your forgiveness or not. But in the long run, you're the one who ends up being powerless; you end up letting anger control you.
Forgiving and letting go is definitely not easy, but God says we must forgive as we have been forgiven by Him (Ephesians 4:32).
Proverbs 17:9 says:
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.
Don't let anger and grudges taint your relationships and your own character. Today, choose to forgive an offence rather than hold on to it. Forgiveness won't always come instantly- it might take you a while. But through it all, pray to the Holy Spirit for the strength to forgive and to let go of whatever anger is in your heart. Ask Him to take the throne of your heart, rather than your feelings of anger.
I hope you enjoyed this read. Are there times when you've been so angry that you did something you regretted? Or maybe you held a grudge for so long that it began to affect you negatively. Please feel free to share in the comments below. Or send me an email/message on social media (Instagram). Join the EuniqueBlogs fam and our mailing list today by subscribing to the blog and stay up to date with the latest releases.
Have a blessed day lovelies.
Stay blessed and stay a blessing.
