Do you ever remember being the new kid in class? Having to stand in front of a sea of strange faces, their intense gazes making you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you? It's nerve wracking, if not terrifying.
And the scary part about the whole experience is probably not that exact moment in time where you have to make yourself known to all these new people.
No.
What's really scary is what follow: making friends and trying to fit in to this new environment you've suddenly been pushed into.
And I won't lie. At the start, you tend to feel quite lonely.
I've probably been the new kid like 3 times in my life. And each time was as anxious as the last. Fortunately in my case, I either met people I somehow knew already, or I met kind people who befriended me and were willing to help me get my way around. But even in those cases, I still went through a period of time when I felt like a loner.
You may find yourself in a totally unfamiliar place, knowing absolutely no-one and with no-one willing to come up to you. It's worse if you're a very shy person as well.
Making new friends is never easy. You want them to like you as much as you like them. You want to feel that you belong just like everyone else and not feel like the black sheep.
Now, I'm usually very introverted when it comes to interacting with new people. I also don't like to impose upon already established friendships. So when I sense that I'm becoming a third wheel, I tend to shy away. If I'm made to feel that I'm bothering you, I will withdraw.
Now that's just me. I don't know how other people may feel. Sometimes, it comes down to your personality. Some people are naturally good at making new friends while others like to observe first before befriending others. You may want to get to know someone more before letting yourself be completely free with them. Because you don't know if they'll accept the crazy but amazing person you actually are.
But in all this, you have to remember to be you. Wise words from Dr Seuss are,
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
And there really is no-one alive that is Youer than You. So don't be afraid to put your true self out there. If they accept you for who you are, then praise God. If they don't, then move on.
It's better to be real with people that accept you wholly, than be fake with people that don't care as much about you as they should.
Another thing to remember is that, first impressions can definitely be misleading. I don't know how many times I've been told by my friends that when they first saw me, they thought I was snobbish and mean. Not because of something I said, but just by my demeanour. I am quite shy in a new environment so I tend to be less talkative. I also tend to have this poker face, which does make me come off as snobbish.
But the same can be said with other people that I'm now quite close with. I look through my friendships and even wonder how I ended up being friends with some people. People I'd have never thought to be acquainted with, are now people I call real friends. So don't let first impressions deceive you. Get to know someone and you'll be surprised at what you might find out.
Remember also that it's better to feel happy in a small friendship group than feel lonely in a huge one. That's not to say don't talk to everyone. Be kind and friendly to everyone you come across but always keep that list of close-knit friends around you; those that support and love you completely.
The ultimate thing to know is that, God is always there for you. He's your father who cares about all you're going through. Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. And the Holy Spirit is your Helper and Comforter in times of distress. No matter what new environment you find yourself in, God is right by your side. Talk to Him and tell Him how you feel. Pray to Him that He'll give you the confidence and strength to conquer fear, and ask Him to bring the right people your way. Smile and be positive, for there are greater things to come.
What are your experiences with being the new kid or making new friends? Don't be shy and let us know.
Stay blessed and stay a blessing.
