Today I'm going to be talking on a topic that I don't really discuss that much, and that is relationships/dating.
I for one am someone who has a set mind on my relationships status, and as of now, it is single and not ready to mingle. Despite offers that have come my way and a certain friend of mine wanting to hook me up with strangers (if you're reading this, you know yourself), I know myself and my priorities.
Now, this is a personal choice that I've made, especially since I'm in university and the desire to start dating may arise. Everyone is entitled to making their own choices. I have friends who are dating and as long as they're happy and in healthy relationships, I'm psyched for them.
I do believe that there's a time for everything and also that you have to know yourself. If you know that you're not at that stage in life where you're ready to start a relationship with someone, it wouldn't be wise to do so just because everyone else is doing it. At the end of the day, no-one else's heart is on the line but yours.
And it really is tempting to start dating when you're surrounded by the idea. It seems like everywhere you turn, couples are in your line of sight. Social media, school, even church. Everyone's doing it and you can't help but feel left out.
But one thing to remember is that, God makes all things beautiful in its time. He knows when the right time for you to find your significant other is, He knows the type of person that you're well suited with and He knows the plans that He has for your life. A relationship at this stage may prevent you from proceeding with that life-changing opportunity He planned for you.
I know sometimes we look at other people's relationships and envy that love and affection. We crave for that attention and feel that we need someone else to love us in order for us to feel better about ourselves. But I think that if we're honestly not comfortable or happy when we're single, it can have a negative impact on us when we're with someone else.
You need that other person to constantly remind you of your worth because you don't know or value it as much as you should.
If you really can't be happy on your own, then how do you expect someone else to give you that constant supply of happiness? If you can't love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you?
I think many times, because we don't know how to love ourselves or find comfort in who we are, it leads us to going out there and seeking that love from other people. And that can be quite toxic. I believe that your partner isn't supposed to supply that self-love, but should add to it. If you know how to love yourself, you'll know how you expect your other half to treat you. You shouldn't have to compromise or settle for less than you deserve. You're precious and should be treated as such.
Another issue is that, we're trying to seek love from the wrong place. Yes, you may not know how to love yourself, flaws and all.
But you know who does?
Your Heavenly Father who created you to be the beautiful person you are.
God loves you, with all your insecurities, flaws, doubts, good and bad. We most of the time don't work on our relationship with Him before going out to find one. As I said before, God knows the plans He has for you and He has a set time for everything. He can reveal those plans to you if you want. But you have to get close enough for Him to be able to do so.
I think that's another reason that I'm currently not looking for a romantic relationship. Because I want to work on myself first. I want to also work on my relationship with God. I believe that, my love for God and my relationship with Him, has to come before my relationship with any guy. I don't want to end up giving all my attention to someone and neglecting God. And I need God to teach me how to put Him first before all others. The only way I can do that is by drawing closer to Him.
Moreover, when you do enter a relationship, I believe that it should be for the right intentions. I believe in dating to get married. I mean, why put your heart on the line countless times when you know that the person you're with isn't the one for you?
I also believe in staying chaste until marriage. Sex was designed for marriage and not for anything else. No matter if that's the person you intend to marry or not, it's only right to stay chaste until you're joined together in holy matrimony.
No, there's nothing archaic about it, no matter how normal the world views it. Let all your actions glorify God. In fact, let your relationship glorify God. Also, if your boyfriend/ girlfriend doesn't push you to be a better person, I'm sorry but they're not meant for you. If they don't edify you spiritually, problems will arise. You'll find yourself having to choose between pleasing them or pleasing God, and that shouldn't ever be the situation when it comes to the person you love.
In all this, please remember that there are perks to being single guys; there's absolutely nothing wrong it. Yes, having someone to love is a sweet feeling that I can't wait to experience, but until then, I'll find joy and love in my existing relationships with God, my family and friends.
Have sleepovers with your pals, go out to dinner with your family, spend time talking to God, have personal movie nights. You're only single for a period of time in your life, until you decide to get married. So enjoy it while you can. And enjoy it while you're still young.
You're only a teenager/young adult; what's the rush? The guys aren't going anywhere and the girls aren't becoming extinct. God is preparing your better half for you and they'll appear when the time is right. So until then, embrace your singleness!
I've said a lot, but the main things I want you to know are that:
1. Don't let the envy of other people's relationships push you to go looking for one, before you're ready.
2. There's a time for everything and your time will come when you're ready.
3. Learn to love yourself first before seeking the love of any guy/girl.
4. Your relationship with God is number one; work on it before looking for one with someone else.
5. Let your relationship be filled with purity and let it glorify God.
6. Your partner should bring out the best in you and strengthen your relationship with God, not push Him away.
7. There's joy in being single; embrace it and cherish the relationships you already have.
What are your opinions on dating and relationships? Feel free to comment below or email me your thoughts. I would LOVE to hear what you think. Have an amazing day lovelies!
Stay blessed and stay a blessing.
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