I remember back in junior high school, I went through a period where I was always self-conscious of my appearance. I used to compare myself a lot to other girls in my class, something I'm pretty sure we've all done at a point in our lives. Most of us still do, even when we grow out of that naïve high school phase.
Now we know all about how 'Beauty comes from within' and how 'It's what's on the inside that matters.' But the truth is, most of us will still obsess about how others view us, instead of just being satisfied with how we view ourselves.
I was in denial about my physical beauty. Even when others complimented me, I'd laugh mentally and wonder just what exactly they saw. I mean hey, I knew I wasn't ugly, but I also knew I wasn't drop dead gorgeous. And yes, our parents may often tell us that we're beautiful but we never really get the 'validation' we desire. After all, they're our parents and we are by-products of them; they'd technically be insulting themselves if they told us we were ugly.
It's normal even as a child of God to have these feelings. It's possible to look in the mirror and not like what you see. You could read all the Psalm 139:13-14's and the 1 Peter 3:3's and still feel less than pretty. It doesn't help that in today's society, you sometimes feel the pressure to have the body of a Victoria's Secret model or the face of an IG Influencer.
But I do believe that the era that portrayed one definition of beauty is slowly fading, and we're beginning to accept all forms of beauty. Something that's been long overdue. The truth is that we have been created uniquely and wonderfully by the same God that created the marvellous Universe. Every grey hair, every freckle, every body shape was made by God. He needed that special way to distinguish you between everyone else and He sees it as beautiful.
True beauty does indeed come from within, and I'm sure we all know this. We just tend to forget. Physical beauty is complete vanity and can disappear in an instant. But what's inside of you is what determines how truly 'beautiful' or 'ugly' you are.
A beautiful face may turn heads but a beautiful soul changes hearts.
And as children of God, changing and transforming others is one of our life's missions. Our character, our talents, our abilities; all these form part of our inner beauty. They are qualities that are difficult to destroy as compared to physical beauty. And when we actually take delight in these, and focus less on how we look, we tend to feel more pleased with ourselves.
I started to focus more on my gifts and talents; the things I was good at and that brought me joy. I channeled those negative thoughts into the things I loved doing, and it started to help.
Our outward appearance does matter to a certain degree, but not so much that we must obsess over it and compare it to others.
So how can we reduce these negative thoughts we often have concerning our outward appearance?
1. Take some time to examine yourself.
Take note of all the features you like about yourself as well as the ones you don't like. This 'list' is to help you appreciate what you do have and know that even though there are features you wish you could change, you have to be grateful for them.
2. Note down all your qualities and abilities, and work on them.
Find something you love doing or that you're good at. Explore what new activities you could enjoy.
3. Tell God about your doubts and thoughts.
He really wants to hear what you think and don't worry; He won't strike you with lightning for having these feelings of low self worth/esteem.
4. Read your Bible.
There are so many scriptures that reaffirm just how beautiful and amazing you really are. The trick is that, you can't just know or read these scriptures. You have to believe them and confess them each and every day for it to have an effect. A few examples are:
1 Peter 3:3-4
Ephesians 2:10
Psalm 139:13-14
Songs of Solomon 4:7
Proverbs 31:10
5. Surround yourself with positivity.
Hang up scriptures that reaffirm your worth, quotes that remind you just how amazing you are, sayings that encourage you not to look down on yourself. Your friends and others around you can also contribute to your optimism. Stay away from people who only bring about negativity.
6. You can also talk to someone about the feelings you may have.
Go to God first and after, you can express yourself to a person you trust who can also help you overcome any negative doubts and thoughts you feel about yourself.
Was there ever a time you felt less than beautiful? Do you find yourself comparing your looks to others? Don't hesitate to share your stories and comments on this subject. Until next time lovelies.
Stay blessed and stay a blessing.
