Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Yes, the time for gifting chocolates and cards, and going on elaborate date nights. Although with a pandemic still happening I don't know how 'all out' some people can actually go. I guess where there's a will, there's definitely a way.
Personally I'll be spending the day with me, myself and the Holy Spirit, just like every year. This year's Valentine's Day happens to fall on a Sunday and if that isn't a sign that God is the only Valentine I need right now, I don't know what is.
In light of that, I thought I'd talk a little bit on love. Now, I've talked about the Agape kind of love (God's love) some posts back but I don't really think I talked much on Eros love. You know, the romantic, butterflies-in-your-tummy kind of love. So that's what I'll be doing today.
From research I know that true Eros love is all about how really loving someone is a lifelong process that requires sacrifices, trust, compromises and respect. But here are my thoughts.
My Thoughts on Love
The first thing that comes to mind with Eros love is romance. I don't know about you guys, but I'm honestly all for romance. Call me cliche but I'm the type of person who loves fairy tales and happy endings, which is why I don't like watching certain movie genres. Blame it on my God given, wild imagination mixed with growing up a Disney child, but I always couldn't wait to grow up, get a boyfriend, get married and then have kids (four to be precise, not that anyone's asking).
But as I got older, I realised that my imagination and picture perfect idea of what love would be like, was far from reality. Movies and books paint this image of finding true love that honestly isn't always true and for someone like me, it was easier and much nicer to imagine scenarios in my head than to put myself out there. I'm sure I'm not the only one that comes up with a thousand storylines after seeing or meeting someone. And as introverted as I am, I prefer to live in my imaginations rather than in reality.
Because for me, putting myself out there is a scary thing to do. No matter how much you tell yourself that you don't care what others will think about you, you just can't seem to fully shake away fears and doubts.
And at this point in my life, after some life experiences, I'm honestly nervous when I think about finding someone I might end up spending the rest of my life with. Like, really think about it. It seems unreal even though it is a real situation.
I feel like my idea of love and marriage has been distorted by so many things around me that it really confuses me sometimes. How do I know when I'm actually ready to start dating? What do I look for in a boyfriend/spouse? Am I even supposed to be looking or do I just leave it to God to coordinate everything?
I'm twenty now and it's crazy to think that people my age are already married and/or have kids. I still see myself as a teenager though, which I probably need to stop doing and realise that I'm a full grown adult now.
Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly fine to not be in a relationship at this age. Personally I would like to at least finish my degree first but there's also no harm in having a relationship now either. If you think you're at a stage in life where you're ready, go ahead and do you, boo.
What does finding your S.O.* really involve?
I think one thing that I realised is, when you do meet the person you're supposed to be with, you have to be willing to open up and trust them, something that's not quite easy to do. There are certain things you might need to change about yourself too.
Now I know what some of you are thinking- you shouldn't need to change yourself for any man/woman.
Actually, you do. And I don't mean changing who you are completely and losing yourself just to please your S.O.* What I mean is, there are certain habits you'll need to change in order for you both to grow together. For example, if you're so used to being independent, you might need to now learn how to trust someone else and let go a little so that you both rely on each other.
A lot comes with being in a relationship and even though it's not easy, it really is a beautiful thing. I'm not talking from personal experience but from what I've seen from those close to me. This kind of love has ups and downs but once you meet someone who God has destined for you, loving them becomes one of the best things in the world. And although I'm still nervous about that, I can't wait for it when the time is right.
So these are my thoughts and realisations. I probably have so much to learn when it comes to being in a romantic relationship but I guess experience is the best teacher so I'll wait patiently until then.
When God does bring someone my way, I know that it'll be at the right time in my life. I just hope I'll be ready and willing to take that journey.
Until then, Jesus has and will always have my heart.
*S.O. = Significant Other
What are your thoughts on love and relationships? Scary, exciting, confusing? Let me know what you think in the comments below or email/message me on social media. Would love to hear your thoughts. Have an amazing week.
Stay blessed and stay a blessing.
